


Coming Home

by alexiahayez



Series: [Unsung Harmonies] A SoonHoon Oneshot Collection [6]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst with a Happy Ending, Battle, Drama & Romance, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mention Of Homophobia, Romance, Soldier!Soonyoung, Soldiers, Swearing, War, War mailman!Jihoon, Wartime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:42:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29432613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexiahayez/pseuds/alexiahayez
Summary: When Lee Jihoon was twenty-two, he couldn’t afford higher education after he graduated college, so he had to enlist and was brought to the battlefield to be the mailman. In the years when he enlisted, the number of literate people was scarce as it was in the middle of wartime, so nobody cared much about getting a full education. So those people like Jihoon, who could type and spell, were considered scholars among the savages. With his outgoing and approachable personality, he quickly gained a lot of friends on the battlefield, those who didn’t know if they could make it until tomorrow comes. That was why their friendships were so special to them, as they didn’t know if one day he could come home to his family, those people there were their only families. As Jihoon quickly learned that a lot of people wanted to study but didn’t have the means and privileged to, he offered to host a night study session to teach them the basics.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: [Unsung Harmonies] A SoonHoon Oneshot Collection [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147622
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have time to finish my Valentine special short so I went with translating one of the works I did in my language to English and upload it as a Valentine special lol
> 
> Kay, serious, this story was set in wartime, and I didn't specify which one but if it bothers you, please don't read it. I didn't mention gore or blood or anything but if you feel uncomfortable since it's about the war, then please don't read it. Anyways, if anything related to wars or battles bothers you, please don't read it. 
> 
> I know a lot of people wouldn't like these types of characters, and I understand.
> 
> Also, please don’t let this flop 🥲

When he got used to the sound of bombs and firing guns.

Just like how he got used to the sound of screaming and begging for mercy.

He thought he got used to the pain of parting, and the pain of being separated by death.

He didn’t, since he couldn’t forget his face whenever he came back in his dream.

Lee Jihoon was sitting in his study, his candle was burned until there was only half of it left, and the birds were beginning to sing the song of a new day calling. One more night of him and his insomnia. The war ended three years ago, and he was living in peacetime now, yet he lost his heart on the battlefield that one particular painful day.

Long nights come memories he couldn’t let go of, when the day basked itself in the warmth of the sunlight, he could act as if nothing happened, but when the night came with the silence of darkness, he couldn’t help but think of him. He just celebrated his twenty-fifth birthday, but his life seemed to stop at that twenty-two’s night.

When Lee Jihoon was twenty-two, he couldn’t afford higher education after he graduated college, so he had to enlist and was brought to the battlefield to be the mailman. In the years when he enlisted, the number of literate people was scarce as it was in the middle of wartime, so nobody cared much about getting a full education. So those people like Jihoon, who could type and spell, were considered scholars among the savages. With his outgoing and approachable personality, he quickly gained a lot of friends on the battlefield, those who didn’t know if they could make it until tomorrow comes. That was why their friendships were so special to them, as they didn’t know if one day he could come home to his family, those people there were their only families. As Jihoon quickly learned that a lot of people wanted to study but didn’t have the means and privileged to, he offered to host a night study session to teach them the basics.

It was a moonlit night, maybe the moon was a bit brighter than usual, Lee Jihoon brought the blackboard into his sleeping tent, preparing for the night study session as usual. When he was still struggling with setting up, a man approached him from behind. This person, with his black hair and eyes filled with determination of a tiger, was wearing a different-colored uniform from all the soldiers who came to his study session.

“How can I help you?” – Jihoon asked with a smile on his face. This person scanned him from head to toe as if he was judging him. It was unusual, but Jihoon didn’t mind and kept his smile on his face at all times.

The man was quiet until Jihoon thought he couldn’t be patient with this person anymore that the man spoke up.

“Can you help me write a letter?” – He had a deep but warm voice, reminded Jihoon of the spring. He opened his eyes wide as he looked at that person who was showing a hint of nervousness, but quickly got himself together and was standing tall and proud. A proud soldier. Jihoon took a while to process what that person just said, and maybe that was why that person quickly turned around and walked away. He must have thought that Jihoon was despising him and his illiteracy,

“Wait” – Jihoon called after him – “It’s just a letter, of course, I wouldn’t mind.”

The person stopped walking as he turned around and looked straight into Jihoon as if he just said something frightening. The man nodded nevertheless, and Jihoon guided him to his desk where he quickly took out a pen and a piece of paper. He turned to look at the man as if he was waiting for the man to start telling him what the letter was about. Yet, no one spoke and they both sat in silence until Jihoon had to break the ice.

“Hey” – He said – “Can you at least tell me who this letter is for?”

“My parents” – The man said – “and Vera.”

“Vera?” – Jihoon asked and the man nodded – “A lover, or wife?”

“My daughter.” – The answer stunned Jihoon as the man looked quite young, possibly his age, so it was pretty unusual that he had a daughter. The man could’ve seen the confusion on Jihoon’s face as he laughed and explained.

“Vera was an orphan girl in my town. I saw her a couple of time and decided to bring her in.” – He then paused before he could continue – “I didn’t think it through, as she’s already at the age where she should receive an education, but I couldn’t afford to send her to school.” – He sighed – “I heard that if I enlist then my children would get free education paid by the government, so I went.” – He rustled through his cargo pants’ pockets as he pulled out a small picture of a girl, approximately four or five years old – “She’s five, I haven’t seen her for a year now.”

Jihoon looked at him, and then the picture. He just wanted to laugh. A guy who looked so arrogant and stoic as him, he couldn’t expect that the man had such a warm heart. – “She’s cute” – He commented as he saw a smile formed at the corner of the man’s lips. The man held the picture up and looked at it fondly, he couldn’t help but smile at the sight.

“Can I know your name?” – Jihoon asked, and he quickly explained – “It’s for the letter.”

“Kwon Soonyoung.” – He answered, and Jihoon brought this name inside to carve it deep into his heart, so deep that he couldn’t forget it even if the years had passed.

After that night, Lee Jihoon saw the man more at his base. He knew a lot about him as well. He was his age, enlisted a year before Jihoon, and had a dog named Puggy. His parents came from a very poor town, and he dreamed of one day after he got discharged, he could come back and bring his parents and Vera to the city, where he hoped they could have a better life, and his parents’ illness could be cured. That night, Jihoon stayed up all night to write the letter along with Soonyoung. It took a long time because everytime Jihoon finished a couple of sentences, Soonyoung chimed in with a new idea as if he just remembered something. He giggled softly at Soonyoung, whom he couldn’t think that was willing to open up to him that much. Maybe he was that simple of a man, maybe he trusted Jihoon with a lot of stories about himself that he couldn’t tell anyone else. Maybe he just needed a person who listened.

Jihoon was a mailman, so he didn’t have to leave the base a lot, unlike him, who always had to stand under the sun, who always had to take away the lives that he didn’t believe deserve to die. The lives of those he couldn’t even name.

A warm and bubbly person on the battlefield had to show his icy cold personality, yet Jihoon knew him, he understood him, and he knew that Soonyoung always remembered the names of those fellow soldiers who died before him so that every night he could send a prayer to God before he went to bed. Wishing that those people will have a better life in their next life.

Jihoon noticed that the letters he sent were never replied. He asked Soonyoung once about this but Soonyoung only answered him with a sad look on his face and a forced smile, telling him that maybe his family was busy or forgot, but he knew that it wasn’t that simple. Jihoon discarded the suspicion as he thought maybe it was what Soonyoung didn’t want to talk about, so he stopped being so curious. They set a day, every Friday would be the date when Soonyoung came to Jihoon to write a letter to his family, and every week Jihoon waited patiently for the day Soonyoung walked through his tent again. Until one day he thought of an idea.

“What if I teach you how to write?” – Jihoon asked as he turned to Soonyoung on one particular Friday night. 

Soonyoung thought he was kidding at first, and he laughed along to the joke, but then he noticed Jihoon’s serious look and stopped his laugh. Instead, he showed a surprised and horrified look on his face, maybe it was because no one ever wanted to teach him anything, or maybe he thought he wasn’t close enough to Jihoon for him to spend his precious time on teaching a battlefield savage like him.

Kwon Soonyoung and Lee Jihoon both sat in silence for a while, a long while. The night wind of the desert crept through the spaces on the tent, the candlelight moved softly in sync with the wind as if they were both dancing to a soft tune of the night. Jihoon didn’t notice that his pen was dripping ink on the white paper and soon it was spreading throughout the entire page, covering the half-written letters. A couple more seconds passed, and Kwon Soonyoung finally stood up, told him a soft thank you before he moved toward the outside. Something was wrong in his action, Lee Jihoon knew it. His eyes showed a tint of disappointment and sadness, but he stood up to greet him out of the door anyway. As they both reached the outside of Jihoon’s tent, the silver moon hanging above them was shining brightly, reflecting the silhouettes of two people down to the sand.

One step, two steps, and Kwon Soonyoung turned around. Jihoon, as if he could understand what Soonyoung was thinking, opening his arms wide to welcome him back into his embrace. Soonyoung ran to Jihoon, and before he could reach him, his lips had already reached out to capture Jihoon’s lips. Two lonely men on the battlefield, they found each other’s warmth.

“Slow down…” – Jihoon sighed into the kiss as he moved back when Soonyoung was trying to dive deeper, but his body wasn’t listening to him, and his mind seemed to be hating its logic as well – “We can’t…”

“Don’t say it.” – Kwon Soonyoung said as he smiled into the kiss, holding Jihoon’s nape to push him deeper into it.

“This shouldn’t have happened.” – Jihoon panted as he sat up to reach for his shirt was then scattered on the floor.

“Why?” – Soonyoung reached out to pet Jihoon’s hair, and Jihoon leaned into his chest as he sighed before he gave Soonyoung an answer that Soonyoung felt dissatisfied with.

“Because it shouldn’t.” – Jihoon said – “We’re shouldn’t.”

_Because I shouldn’t._

After that night, Lee Jihoon spent his days avoiding Soonyoung. Yet, his secret glances, his subtle smiles that Soonyoung caught always made Jihoon blush, and he could catch those things from Soonyoung as well. Kwon Soonyoung had a different excuse every night to see Jihoon, from telling Jihoon that he wanted to learn how to write properly to writing letters for Vera and his parents, he made sure that Jihoon couldn’t say no to whatever he wanted to do. He did it all to stay the night in Jihoon’s tent. Lee Jihoon reminded himself every next morning that he shouldn’t let him in again, that he shouldn’t let his soft tenderness and his caring become something Jihoon was familiar with, as it would be harder for him to let Soonyoung go later.

Lee Jihoon would never be ready to let Soonyoung walk into his heart and his life, even though Soonyoung never failed to break down the walls that Jihoon was trying his best to build around his heart. Lee Jihoon, not only that he was aware of their duties at forefront people in a war, believed that Soonyoung was only seeking his warmth because he was far away and was lonely. Soonyoung would go back to his town after the war, he would find a lovely wife who accepts him and Vera, he would move to the city and start his life there, in a small apartment and build a lovely family with children and grandchildren. Jihoon couldn’t give him that. He couldn’t give Soonyoung a family that he had talked so much about.

Kwon Soonyoung was oblivious to Jihoon’s avoidance, as he was oblivious to his thoughts and feelings. He was a simple man, simple happiness to Soonyoung was that he liked Jihoon, and he wanted to do anything to make Jihoon happy as well.

This time Soonyoung returned to the base with a broken arm. As his helicopter just landed, the screams and shrieks of soldiers who were in terrible pain echoed the entire campsite. Jihoon was sitting in his own tent when he heard the painful cried, and someone told him that the troop was ambushed, and a lot of them were badly wounded. Some didn’t even make it back. A terrible thought flashed through Jihoon’s head as he believed that among those cries was Soonyoung’s screaming as well. He tried to focus on his job, tried his best to be positive, but his head was filled with the image of Soonyoung being covered in blood, bruises, cuts, or worse, he didn’t return at all, and it scared Jihoon so much he could feel tears running down his cheeks.

“You’re dismissed, Lee” – His captain, Captain Yoon, saw Jihoon crying and immediately let him out early so that he could run to find Soonyoung.

That was all Jihoon was waiting for. He stood up, thanked his captain quickly as he told himself that he must have lived a good life in his past life to be able to meet such an understanding and caring captain as Captain Yoon. He ran as fast as he could through the small tents that he could clearly see the medical soldiers were hanging their heads low with exhaustion, his heart skipped a different beat as he couldn’t recognize Soonyoung anywhere in those lying in the tents. Lee Jihoon took a deep breath, shit, what if he was no longer there? What if he didn’t make it in time? What if he never returned? That couldn’t be because he still hadn’t received a letter from his daughter, he couldn’t leave like this.

The dark thoughts kept rumbling through his head, made him dizzy. He ran as fast as he can, to the big tent where wounded soldiers were being treated. He kept running.

“Where do you think you’re running to?” – He heard a familiar voice came from behind him, but he ignored it as he thought it was a friend until that person caught up to him and quickly used their other good arm to capture him in their embrace. That was when he turned around and saw Soonyoung’s face, smiling at him, a smile as bright as the desert’s sun. – “What are you running so fast for?”

He stopped and looked at the person in front of him for a while, he was breathing, he was standing in front of Jihoon, he was smiling, he was… alive. He felt a stinging feeling in the corners of his eyes as his eyes turned red and his nose heated, his tears came streaming out as he immediately jumped up to snake his hands around Soonyoung’s neck and buried his face into Soonyoung’s chest. Soonyoung couldn’t do anything but using his good arm to pat softly on Jihoon’s head as if he was comforting him.

“Don’t be like this.” – Soonyoung looked at him with his sad, deep, brown eyes – “This will give me hope.” – He said as he moved his casted arm carefully to wipe away Jihoon’s tears – “Don’t say that we can’t be together and then cry for me like this.”

But his last sentence was nothing more than a sigh in the wind.

Lee Jihoon looked up, the first time ever he tried to reach for Soonyoung’s lips, he needed a confirmation that the person in front of him wasn’t his own illusion, and that he could feel the warmth of Soonyoung. Soonyoung was caught off guard as he stumbled backward, but through a distressed Jihoon’s eyes, it meant that Soonyoung didn’t want the kiss. His eyes showed a clear sign of pain as he slowly moved away from Soonyoung. A simple little movement could hurt so much.

“So- sorry” – Jihoon said as he turned away. Kwon Soonyoung quickly stopped him with his good arm and pulled him back for an embrace.

Even he could only use one arm, he could still lift Jihoon up and carried him on his shoulder.

“Let me go”

“Can’t” – He said as he brought Jihoon back to his tent – “I can’t let you go anymore.”

“We can’t…” – Jihoon was cut off as the person in front of him let him down and used his lips to stop Jihoon from finishing the sentence.

“Tell me we can’t if you mean it, Jihoon.” – Soonyoung looked Jihoon in the eyes, and Jihoon couldn’t say anything else. Kwon Soonyoung had already seen his soul, his heart, and him.

“Don’t say we can’t anymore, Lee Jihoon.” – Soonyoung moved toward Jihoon and embraced him, fondly smiled at a tired Jihoon who was drifting to sleep – “Don’t say that we can’t and take all the love I could give you that heartlessly. I simply just want you to be happy, but I can only be this generous.”

Lee Jihoon closed his two eyes as he pretended that he couldn’t hear a word Soonyoung was saying. They really couldn’t. Jihoon still had his dreams, he wanted to leave the war life behind, the deaths and the pain, and he wanted to study higher, he wanted to be a professor. He had a long life ahead, and so was Soonyoung. Soonyoung had so much waiting for him, he couldn’t selfishly force Soonyoung into a life that was against the norm like this. What kind of era was this? They were just normal people in a petty war, what could they possibly do?

They really couldn’t.

“Don’t act like you can’t hear me, Lee Jihoon.” – Soonyoung whispered sadly – “Your action is already enough of an answer for me.”

  
The next times they met, Soonyoung acted as if nothing happened, still smiled at him when he walked past, and stayed over on Fridays to write the letters with him. Yet, as soon as the moon reached the center of the sky, he excused himself and left Jihoon alone. No more surprise back hugs. No more secret kisses. No more love to give, and no more stories to tell. No more warmth from him that could melt away the cold of the night.

Jihoon told himself that he could forget Soonyoung, because even from the beginning, he shouldn’t have let Soonyoung into his dreams.

This time the helicopter bringing the wounded soldiers once again landed. The pain of the war once again echoed the base, but Lee Jihoon could only bite his lips until he started bleeding from trying to stop himself from running out and look for Soonyoung.

_Please don’t leave me, Soonyoung._

“Is Lee Jihoon here?” – A soldier went into his tent – “Captain Choi is looking for you.”

“We just got a notice that the government had agreed to sign a truce, a new peace had been established across the continent, bringing a full stop to this decade long war. This day onward, we would live in peace and would together bring development and healing to the country…” – Jihoon reached out to lower the volume on his radio, the other hand he placed a big dish of food on the table.

After he was discharged, he went back to a small town on the East Coast, in a house that was close to a big river. His house was small, with three bedrooms, one for his study, one for him and one for…

“Vera, lunch is ready!” – Lee Jihoon called, and a little girl, closely eight years old ran in from the outside.

“Papa!” – She thanked him softly for the meal and quickly sat on the table, reaching for the food.

_Lee Jihoon, after being discharged, looked everywhere for Vera and Kwon Soonyoung’s parents according to what he told him in his stories. He finally understood why whenever he mentioned the replies for his letters, Soonyoung could only stay silent. Both of his parents were old and weak, and after he found Vera, Soonyoung’s parents finally let go and sunk into an eternal slumber. Maybe it was because then they both felt like Vera was finally in good hands and that Jihoon could take care of her._

_Jihoon used all his savings from his job and loaned a little more from the bank to buy a small house, enough to pay for his education and Vera’s. After that, he found a job at the nearby editorial, so he could pay for Vera and his life as well._

“Papa” – Vera called – “How is the book you are planning to publish?” – She asked as she bit a piece of bread. Her papa was amazing, he could read and write, and he even finished a book that sold for quite a lot of money.

Jihoon sighed at the mention of his book.

“You’re missing Dad again…”

“Have I ever stopped?” – Jihoon said.

“It’s okay, papa.” – Vera smiled – “They never said that Dad is dead, and they were still looking for him. Maybe he got lost in the desert.” – As she was saying, she suddenly remembered something and reached to her pocket to pull out a small piece of paper – “An uncle at the Town Center gave me this. He told me that I can’t read it and only you can, papa. He was covered in bandages, but he was warm, and he gave me candy.”

Lee Jihoon reached for the paper on Vera’s hand, complaining about how she shouldn’t receive candies from strangers. He stood up and took the knife to slice open the envelope. The letters on the paper were crooked, and it looked like an elementary student wrote it, but Jihoon couldn’t stop his tears from falling as his knees felt weak.

“Fuck” – He didn’t mind if he was swearing in front of his daughter – “You son of a bitch, Kwon Soonyoung…”

He said as he dashed out of his door, immediately ran toward the Town Center. The letter was blown away by the wind, and the letter only consisted of five letters, but five letters were enough to make him cry.

_Lee Jihoon, I am home._

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't want to post this since it was a heavy read for a short on Valentine, and I was scared that this genre was a bit different from what I usually do for the series :(
> 
> I know it was a heavy read, so if you want to scream at me, do it in the comment or through my Twitter @alxhayz, I promise I'm not an angst writer and I'm usually very fluffy :( I hope I didn't ruin anyone's Valentine mood.
> 
> As usual, comment if you see anything confusing or out of place, very much appreciated ❤️


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